As a public outpour regarding what seems like a constant stream of allegations of misconduct is happening within the church community, many folks have rushed to share their opinions, criticisms, and solutions. I was beaten to it as a piece was recently published on Coptic Voice titled “An Open Letter to Coptic Men”. I recommend you read that before you read this, or it will seem that I am talking to myself (totally cool with it if that’s the case).
Numerous claims raised in the article caught my eye, primarily the alleged deficiencies in our Church. However, I went on, trying to keep an unbiased and open mind. After time to digest and trying to understand the perspective of the author, I felt compelled to bring to light a particularly important distinction when discussing these times of turmoil within our community.
A common theme I found when reading the piece was the large and dangerous lack of distinction between the Coptic culture and the Coptic Orthodox faith. When speaking to issues regarding the faith and the community, we must always differentiate between the ideals that we have absorbed from societal pressures and the pure and innocent faith that we so strongly believe in and are always called to defend.
The first point in the piece pertained to the Black Lives Matter movement—currently in the headlines of practically every news source—which has gained a large following after the unjust and inhumane killing of George Floyd. Many comments have surfaced, both against and in support of the riots, looting, and violence taking place. Martin Luther King once stated, “A riot is the language of the unheard.” It is an outcry for help forcing us to take a stand or sit in silence. However, taking a stand does not automatically mean promoting or encouraging every part of the message expressed by someone or something. It has never been all or nothing.
I ask, what benefits do we gain from more destruction? I agree, it raises more awareness, but that awareness can be perceived negatively as well as positively. I have seen many of my friends and colleagues join in the stand against social injustice but became distracted and drawn away by the violence. They became discouraged as they associated the riots and destruction directly with standing against injustice. The true and important message is easily lost in all the noise, only furthering the divide.
This failure to disassociate the acts with the overall goal or message comes from the lack of cultural awareness, not from the lack of the Church taking a stance.
Regarding the faith itself, the Church is very capable of opposing both racial discrimination and elements of the Black Lives Matter movement. The BLM movement website suggests that it is openly Marxist and asserts the disruption of “Western-prescribed nuclear family structure” while discouraging “heteronormative thinking.” The Church can always condemn racism and injustice while also supporting the peaceful and persistent pursuit of justice. As the Church and congregation raise their voices, it is vital that with gentleness and longsuffering we continue, “bearing with one another in love” (Psalm 23:1-2).
Furthermore, the Coptic faith cannot be more “politicized any more than it already is”, which is something the piece specified. The culture we are surrounded by will always be politicized, as democracy and free-thinking are the cornerstones of America. The faith, however, is incapable of undergoing such politicization. This is an extremely dangerous contention as it meddles the culture that we have succumbed to with the Coptic teachings that were given to us, unchanged for thousands of years.
I concede that a lot of our parents and those alike may not understand systemic racism and the many decades of oppression. However, by forcing an “all-or-nothing” approach, many people are dissuaded from becoming involved or taking a stand. The answer is not to blindly follow and condone every action that someone or something takes. We must always question, become informed, educate, and advocate with love and empathy, not by the carrot or the stick.
This same mischaracterization was also present in the second point pertaining to the sexual misconduct that is coming to light in both our congregation as well as its clergy. The statements made implies that the Church is full of adulterers and enablers. The author affirmed the idea that the toxicity revolving around these issues was passed down to us from Arab culture, developing in our Church.
The piece asserts that Coptic men have an issue of feeling too entitled, specifically to women. Women have long been the victims of injustice all throughout history. I acknowledge that men, in general, have an issue with entitlement, specifically in America. In the United States, it stems from the English common law concept of coverture. Under this doctrine, a woman was legally considered the chattel of her husband; his possession. In our own church, we separate the benches by women and men. Our ancestors used to be seated together, as one family, in unity. It was through the constant and continuous Arab Islamist oppression that we adopted a similar belief to their required separate places of worship.
These are not the teachings we inherited. We have allowed these outside sources to reshape our culture. Thus, I reiterate the importance of differentiating between the Coptic culture and the Coptic faith. I would tread carefully in implying that these ideals and theories were developed in our Church, as this is not the case.
Accordingly, I do not have all the answers as I am a born sinner, just trying to figure it all out. However, I, as a fellow Coptic man, believe that the change must come within our hearts and homes. The Church has survived much worse events and will continue to survive long after we are gone. It will always maintain its innocence and purity, even if we do not. Culture, on the other hand, changes on the dime, with different pressures and trends influencing it on the daily.
I encourage us all to reflect on ourselves before casting direction as to what the Church should or need to do, “for if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God?” (1 Timothy 3:5).
May God have mercy on us all.
Kyrollos Fekry is a second-year law student at Delaware Law School in Wilmington. He is interested in strengthening the Coptic community and increasing the representation of the Coptic community in public office. He can be reached at KyrollosFekry@aim.com.
