The Importance of Coptic Female Mentorship

Recently, I have come face-to-face with my early quarter-life crisis. I started asking myself questions like “Who am I,” “Why am I here” and “What is my purpose.” I felt perplexed for a long time, unable to really respond to these questions.

Feelings of isolation and the belief that “no one understands” are common among young Coptic girls

I finally decided to make a list. After I made my list, I started searching the internet for Coptic women who might have similar attributes. I was hoping that I could relate to one of them, become inspired, and find some answers to my questions. Searching the internet for anything related to Egyptian women led me to articles about harassment and sexual abuse of women in Egypt. The only news about a notable Coptic woman was on the first and only Coptic female governor of Egypt, Manal Mikhail. This got me thinking about how desperately we need a community of Coptic women who support and nourish each other. Young Coptic women need contemporary role models that they can go to for help and support as they navigate through life’s challenges.

Young Coptic girls, today more than ever, need Coptic female to know that success is not at odds with being Coptic Christian.

After feeling both heartbroken and discouraged by the internet searches, I recognized that Copts in the diaspora have an opportunity that they have not yet taken advantage of: they can support each other, lift each other up, and use their God-given talents to become a community of leaders amongst one another. In my life, I have met many wonderful Coptic women who are leaders, either in their careers, churches, homes, or all of the above! But they typically keep to themselves. Why are they underground? Why are they not well known (and accessible) to each other for mentorship and support?

Young Coptic girls, today more than ever, need Coptic female role models for two major reasons. First, they need to know that success is not at odds with being Coptic Christian. We are taught that to be a good Coptic woman, we must be humble, hide our accomplishments, and work behind the scenes. And while humility is important, we need to teach our young women that its  okay to talk about their accomplishments without fear of being judged. Second, they need to from other Coptic women that success brings great challenges, discrimination, abuse, fear, and low moments that require a strong relationship with God. By creating a community of support and mentorship, young Coptic women can practically learn how to be leaders who are neither afraid of being successful nor afraid of being fully Christian. Most importantly, young girls will know that they are not alone in their struggles.

I immigrated to the U.S. from Egypt when I was 13. By 19, I had lost my father to cancer and began to take care of my disabled mother. I am thankful for my brother and aunt, without whom life would have been much harder. Yet as a budding college student trying to prove myself in the world, the challenge of being a good Coptic Christian daughter and an American college student were beyond what I could bear; the push and pull between Egyptian culture and American culture tore me apart. I resorted to binge eating among other self-destructive behaviors. Had I had a trustworthy Coptic female mentor outside of my family to keep me accountable and to guide me, I think I would have been able to live my life differently. I cannot say for sure that I would never have engaged in self-destructive behaviors, but I would’ve had the support that I so desperately needed at that time.  

Without solid female role models, young Coptic girls, learning about a culture that conflicts with American culture and values might end up asking the same questions that I’m asking now and, similarly, finding no answers. They might  also find answers in all the wrong places. I’m not saying that having a female role model and mentor are the only way to find answers and direction, but it’s an important place to start, particularly as a community with similar characteristics, such as being Coptic. .

Coptic women need to make themselves available to other women as a way to grow, learn and adapt to the daily challenges of life, education, relationships and work through sharing of experiences. Feelings of isolation and the belief that “no one understands” are common among young Coptic girls; I’ve personally felt this way, and I know that others feel it too. We simply cannot afford to not share our stories because we are afraid of criticism, envy, or shame. What I am calling for in this article is not a feminist movement. Rather, it is a movement to become who we really are and allowing ourselves to thrive by creating a community of Coptic women who support and nourish each other socially, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually.

Being a leader means being a role model. This requires humility and letting go of our egos and fears. Humility is not meant to conceal our God-given talents, but rather to share them with others like the gifts they are.

Matthew 5:14-16 New King James Version (NKJV)

14 “You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. 16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.”

Maryan is an Egyptian-born Coptic American who has lived in the United States for over half of her lifetime. She received her PhD in Biomedical Sciences from the University of California San Diego and now teaches Biology to community college and university students. She enjoys reading, writing, helping her students, finding solutions to problems, and spending time with her family

If you would like to contribute to the Coptic Voice, please send an email with your bio and topic of interest to CopticvoiceUS@gmail.com