We are the first generation of Coptic youth in the land of immigration. In our parents’ eyes, we have all the necessary tools at our disposal to be happy and successful. And yet, we still find ourselves stuck. Many in our generation would testify to living double lives, like many of their friends from other immigrant families; At school they’re one person and at church they’re another. But depending on the tone set in each individual household, some then find themselves confused about their identity.
This first generation, born in the 80’s and 90’s, took the brunt of this burden, serving as guinea pigs, and going into the world with a lot of misconceptions about faith, relationships, and value systems. From a young age, unfair double standards became the norm. For example, men getting away with far more than women do. Girls grow up becoming fearful at the chance of turning 30 without a husband. As teenagers, our parents discouraged us from dating and opted out of uncomfortable discussions or taboo issues. Only a few years later, our parents, aunts, uncles, and grandparents would ask us when they would be celebrating our weddings and newborn babies. “Okbalak!” they’d say.
There’s no doubt that there are a lot of things about Coptic dating culture that are really strange, and as a result – easy to make fun of. What we ask ourselves, and our peers today is: now what? How do we break the stigma around dating? How do we remove double standards from our vocabulary? Why aren’t we having open discussions about relationships? Coptic dating is a big issue to tackle, but as we’ve already seen, many of you are already asking the same questions. Because of that, we know we’re headed in the right direction.
As a community, we need to rally together and tear down the stigma around dating and relationships. We need to be mindful of looking at genders with a different set of standards. And more than that, we need to help each other find good companions for the unions of the future. For many, it’s important to marry someone within the church who understands our culture and shares the same beliefs. That said, we know the people we grew up with at church all too well. Furthermore, 9 out of 10 Coptic young adults surveyed would probably tell you they’re way too uncomfortable at a convention to cover any ground (and we don’t blame them).
Enter Meet & Right. When my wife and I decided to build this app, we knew we were walking into very uncharted territory. We took a leap of faith without fully knowing if we would land on our feet. Since our launch eight months ago, over 5,000 matches have been made and 32,000 messages have been exchanged. We’ve heard sweet stories of people getting to know each other, starting relationships, and getting engaged. Over the past several months, we developed new app features and pushed out a handful of app updates, but most importantly, we began a dialogue with the community around dating and relationships. We shared our story and then asked for yours. This generation is hungry for a discussion (and technology) and we feel so blessed to help facilitate it.
Mark Botros
Mark Botros is a Dallas-born Copt whose family was part of the first community in North Texas. He earned his Bachelor’s Degree in Advertising & Digital Media from the University of Texas at Austin. The concept for Meet & Right was born from a continued interest in making Coptic dating culture just a little less weird. His career in the commercial flooring industry has taken him across four states in the last six years. Mark’s interests include stand-up comedy, classic hip-hop, and history. He and his wife Jessica met at church in 2006 and will celebrate their 5th wedding anniversary later this year.
